While in English you tend to add words when you want to be polite — would you mind, possibly, please, thank you — Japanese has a whole other language for hierarchy, 敬語 (keigo).

日本では敬語が大切だと考える人は多いです (Nihon de wa keigo ga taisetsu da to kangaeru hito wa ōi desu, In Japan, there are many people who think honorific language is important). In fact, in a 国語に関する世論調査 (kokugo ni kan suru yoron chōsa, public opinion survey on language) put out by the government last year, to the question 「言葉遣いにどのように気を使っているか」 (Kotoba-zukai ni dono yō ni ki o tsukatte-iru ka, How do you pay attention to language use?), 82.9% of people replied, 「改まった場で、ふさわしい言葉遣いをする」 (Aratamatta ba de, fusawashii kotoba-zukai o suru, In formal settings, [I try to] use appropriate language).

That said, there are still many Japanese people who lack confidence in using 敬語 properly. In the 2022 edition of the same government survey, 59.5% of people felt that 「改まった場で、ふさわしい言葉遣いができていないことが多い」 (Aratamatta ba de, fusawashii kotoba-zukai ga dekite-inai koto ga ōi, In formal settings, [I] often cannot use the appropriate language). If you only look at people in their 30s, this number rises to 67.5%.

Moreover, among people in their teens, 20s and 30s, more than half believe 「敬語を適切に使えない」 (Keigo o tekisetsu ni tsukaenai, [I] cannot use honorific language appropriately).

この調査結果を見て日本語学習者の皆さんはちょっと安心するのではないでしょうか, Kono chōsa kekka o mite Nihongo gakushūsha no minasan wa chotto anshin suru no dewa nai deshō ka, After seeing these survey results, I think all Japanese learners will feel a little relieved, won’t they?).

The government has a division that monitors the Japanese language. It is called 文化庁国語科 (bunkachō kokugo-ka, The National Language Division of the Agency for Cultural Affairs) and it implements various 国語施策 (kokugo shisaku, language policies). One such 施策 (shisaku, policy/measure) is the 敬語の指針 (keigo no shishin, guidelines for honorific language) from 2007, created for people who find 敬語 necessary but feel it’s difficult to use in practice.

Last year, 文化庁 created an introductory video to illustrate these 指針 (shishin, guidelines) and promote the use of proper 敬語. The video stresses that 敬語 should not be 固定的 (kotei-teki, fixed) or 絶対的 (zettai-teki, absolute). Instead, it should be 相互的 (sōgo-teki, mutual/reciprocal) and 相対的 (sōtai-teki, relative), serving as a means for 自己表現 (jiko hyōgen, self-expression) and 相互尊重 (sōgo sonchō, mutual respect).

The original 敬語の指針 addresses two controversial types of honorific language: マニュアル敬語 (manyuaru keigo, manual honorifics) and 二重敬語 (nijū keigo, double honorifics). Understanding these concepts is important to addressing any challenges people have in using 敬語.

マニュアル敬語, sometimes known as バイト敬語 (baito keigo, part-time worker honorifics), is widely used in restaurants and convenience stores, typically by young employees. The guidelines reference a real-life expression that is technically incorrect, 御注文の品はおそろいになりましたでしょうか (Go-chūmon no shina wa o-soroi ni narimashita deshō ka, Has your order all arrived?).

While the speaker may think that by using the “お... 〜になる” (o... ~ni naru) structure they are showing respect to the customer, the structure is actually referring to the 御注文の品 (go-chūmon no shina, ordered items), which are not living things and thus do not require respect.

Instead, the correct usage in this case is, 御注文の品は、以上でよろしいでしょうか (Go-chūmon no shina wa, ijō de yoroshii deshō ka, Is your order complete?), which shows the proper respect to the customer.

The second type of honorific addressed in the guidelines is 二重敬語. This involves using multiple honorifics incorrectly, resulting in redundant 尊敬語 (sonkeigo, respectful language). For example, we can form 尊敬語 in two ways: the verb 読む (yomu, to read) can be changed to 読まれる (yomareru) — which is identical to the potential form — or it can be changed to お読みになる (o-yomi ni naru). Both are appropriately respectful and polite, but people will often combine them to create お読みになられる (o-yomi ni narareru), which is incorrect.

There is also a confusing concept called 敬語の連結 (keigo no renketsu, compound honorifics). When a verb is in its te-form, such as 読んでいる (yonde-iru, reading), you can apply honorifics separately to both the main verb 読む (yomu, to read) and the auxiliary verb いる (iru, to be), resulting in お読みになっていらっしゃる (oyomi ni natte-irassharu, [she] is reading). While it may sound redundant, this is actually correct. However, some people mistakenly believe this is an example of 二重敬語 and if you use お読みになっていらっしゃる, then a listener may try to correct you on your grammar.

An English idiom posits that there’s an “exception to every rule” and, sure enough, this is the case with 二重敬語, too. There are examples of 習慣として定着している二重敬語 (shūkan to shite teichaku shite-iru nijū keigo, double honorifics that have become established in practice). Official guidelines cite お召し上がりになる (o-meshiagari ni naru, to eat) as being one such example.

Interestingly, that verb, お召し上がりになる, and the 二重敬語 as a whole used to belong exclusively to the category of 最高敬語 (saikō keigo, highest-level honorific language), which traditionally has been the language a person would use when speaking to the emperor and empress of Japan. This area of Japanese also contains its own versions for する (suru, to do) and いる (iru, to exist), which are あそばされる and あらせられる, respectively.

The chances of striking up a conversation with the imperial couple are slim, however, so for now it’s better to learn the basic rules of 敬語 before you learn how to properly break them.