Attention shoppers, it’s ブラックフライデー (burakku furaidē, Black Friday) today. And with サイバーマンデー (saibā mandē, Cyber Monday) and クリスマス (kurisumasu, Christmas) just around the corner, this weekend and the weekends that follow are bound to be busy for 買い物 (kaimono, shopping).

During the shopping spree, you may find yourself thinking, こんなに安いと買わずにはいられない (Konna ni yasui to kawazu niwa irarenai, I can’t resist buying [it] when it’s this cheap). ～ずにはいられない (~zu niwa irarenai) is a structure that conveys a person’s urge and temptation to do something, just like “I can’t resist” and “I can’t help but~.” いられない (Irarenai) literally means “I can’t be here anymore,” which leads to the suggestion that the speaker can’t stay still without doing something.

In the earlier example, 買わずにはいられない, the original verb 買う (kau, to buy) is doubly negated with ず and いられない, highlighting an irresistible feeling to buy: クリーピーナッツの大ファンなので新しいグッズが出ると買わずにはいられない (Kurīpī nattsu no dai-fan nanode atarashii guzzu ga deru to kawazu niwa irarenai, [I’m] such a huge fan of Creepy Nuts that I can’t resist buying their new merchandise whenever it comes out).

This structure may seem challenging at first glance, but all you need to do is pick a verb and put it in the negative form when you want to express an urge. For example, if we go with the verb 飲む (nomu, to drink), conjugate it to the negative form, 飲まない (nomanai), remove ない (nai) and replace it with ず (zu) — 飲まず (nomazu). Then, add にはいられない (niwa irarenai): もう午後４時なのにコーヒーを飲まずにはいられない (Mō gogo yoji nanoni kōhī o nomazu niwa irarenai, It’s already 4 p.m., but I can’t help but drink a coffee).

This structure also works with the so-called する (suru, to do) verbs, such as 心配する (shinpai suru, to worry) and 感謝する (kansha suru, to show appreciation). Simply change する in this case to either ～せずにはいられない (~sezu niwa irarenai) or ～しないではいられない (~shinai dewa irarenai). For example, この服があまりに可愛かったから試着せずにはいられなかった (Kono fuku ga amari ni kawaikatta kara shichaku sezu niwa irarenakatta, This outfit was so cute that I couldn’t resist trying it on), or 毎日の日課だから散歩をしないではいられない (Mainichi no nikka dakara sanpo o shinai dewa irarenai, Since it’s a part of my daily routine, I cannot skip going for a walk).

A similar structure that features double negation and expresses an individual’s action more matter-of-factly is 〜ざるを得ない (~zaru o enai). The 得ない (enai) part of the phrase means “it’s impossible to~,” and you may have heard the phrase それはあり得ない (sore wa arienai, that can’t possibly be true) before.

The 〜ざるを得ない is more often used when something negative has occurred. For example, 電車が遅れているのでタクシーに乗らざるを得ない (Densha ga okurete-iru node takushī ni norazaru o enai, Since the train is running late, [I] have no choice but to take a taxi), or 雨で計画を中止せざるを得なかった (Ame de keikaku o chūshi sezaru o enakatta, The rain forced [us] to cancel the plan).

The difference between ～ずにはいられない and 〜ざるを得ない is that the former structure hints at a reflexive reaction and urge, while the latter implies that the decision was thought about and made purposefully. In fact, Japanese culture is full of songs and dramas with titles including the phrase 愛さずにはいられない (ai-sazu niwa irarenai, can’t help loving), but 愛さざるを得ない hasn’t featured in any romantic works yet, perhaps because love is more of an impulsive thing.

お買い得で買わずにはいられなかった物が、失敗だったというのはよくある事です (O-kaidoku de kawazu niwa irarenakatta mono ga, shippai datta to iu nowa yoku aru koto desu, It often happens that what seems like a great deal and irresistible at the time turns out to be a flop). So when parsing through all the deals this weekend, try to resist any 衝動 (shōdō, impulses/urges).

Keep in mind that 返品 (henpin, the returning of purchased goods) is not so common in Japan even during the holiday season. If you wish to return your purchase after Black Friday, the rule of thumb is that you should keep the レシート (reshīto, receipt) or 領収書 (ryōshūsho, receipt for business expenses) and bring it back to the store as soon as possible, preferably within a week of purchase. Ask a shop clerk, このレシートで返品できますか (Kono reshīto de henpin dekimasu ka, Can I return [it] with this receipt?) in advance if you want to be certain.

An old saying goes, 安物買いの銭失い (yasumono-gai no zeni ushinai), reminding us that 安物 (yasumono, cheap things) are usually low quality and require us to buy a replacement sooner resulting in 銭失い (zeni ushinai, money lost). The English equivalent might be, “you get what you pay for.” So be wary when you’re indulging in 衝動買い (shōdō-gai, impulse buying), 爆買い (baku-gai, “explosive” shopping/ a big shopping spree) or まとめ買い (matome-gai, bulk buying). You don’t want to end up with 買った後の後悔 (katta ato no kōkai, buyer’s remorse).