NEW YORK -- If Vince Carter never plays a game for the Nets it was still a great trade.

Deporting Alonzo Mourning, out-and-out the most selfish player I've ever covered, and his contaminated contract/attitude is reason enough to celebrate.

Not only did Bruce Ratner save $6 million -- the buyout recently rejected by 'Zo to go away, please.

Not only won't the rookie owner have to pay the infamous ingrate another penny of what's remaining ($5.4 million/$5.9 million/$6.4 million) on the obscene, uninsured pact.

But Ratner also got poetic justice.

Ably aided by GM Ed Stefanski, VP Rod Thorn earned his fresh $4 million per long-term extension by toe-tagging the Organ Groaner to Toronto, far away from his home in Miami where he's been angling to relocate since preseason, on a team going nowhere worthwhile any time soon.

At last, a happy ending; whew, I thought the guy would never leave!

As far as reporting to the Raptors, the NHL has a better chance of playing in Canada than Mourning.

If he wants to rejoin the Heat so bad he'll have to take whatever compensation package the Raptors are bound to offer. His only other option is to quit.

I'll make sure the necessary papers are on his desk in the morning.

On the off chance the Organ Groaner actually shows up north of the border, I've got two words for him -- socialized medicine.

Oh, yes, the trade.

What a difference some ingenuity and chutzpah can make. No wonder I can't get a job as a GM. It never would have dawned on me to make such an insulting proposal.

Isiah Thomas, John Nash and Jerry West, I suggest, should take notes.

Killed in New Jersey by everyone short of Tony Soprano, the terms of Ratner's role as a villain are hereby completed.

After months of open season on him for allowing Kenyon Martin to get away and cutting corners, while his lame team was playing the part of lame-duck tenant, the Nets' boss funded a $27 million move (owed Carter over the next three seasons) that should propel his franchise to genuine playoff status, if not transform it into legit Eastern Conference title contender.

At the very least, it puts the Nets back on Map Quest.

Everybody is thrilled by the sudden turn of events: Season ticket-holders and sellers, sponsors, Continental Breakfast Arena employees, but most of all, Jason and the remaining Argonauts.

Muzzling Kidd is the second biggest benefit to banishing Mourning.

That Carter has been delivered, regardless of whatever physical condition he's in, means the Nets are back in the business of competing so Kidd has nothing to complain about, that is, until the team's already seriously flawed power forward position (now minus Eric and Aaron Williams) becomes the next hot topic of conversation.

Management already is on that case; a proposition of Ron Mercer and a pair of second rounders should be discourteous enough to get Chris Bosh from Toronto.

Maybe not.

Maybe Thorn and Stefanski will have to wait until the season ends to secure a macho man in a trade, or in the free-agent market.

Think the Nets' recruiting pitch might have been enhanced a pinch by Carter's acquisition?

After careful consideration there's only one drawback to this deal: With more people certain to show up for home games, Bernard Kerik now needs a new place to stash his mistresses.

Which brings us full circle to Jersey's new main squeeze; prepare to behold repeated treats of Kidd on the run with the option of laying it off to either Richard Jefferson or Carter for a summary slam.

I understand how badly Carter wanted out of Toronto. And I fully recognize his many injuries over the last three years. Nevertheless, he should be terminally embarrassed -- as in, "Is this all I'm worth?"

Lest we forget what the Magic received from the Rockets last summer for Carter's cousin/former teammate Tracy McGrady -- Steve Francis, Kelvin Cato and Cuttino Mobley.

The one-time NBA poster child, five-time All-Star and gold medal Olympian commanded Eric Williams, a fringe starter on a solid team, two embalmed entities, and a couple of down-the-road draft choices belonging to the Nuggets.

Ordinarily, stock doesn't free fall that acutely until after I'm all in.

People in the know promise Carter will reinvent himself in Jersey. In spite of his chronic injuries, they claim he's capable of performing to his former degree of difficulty, which includes defending elite players and getting a suitable game winning shot any time he pleases.

If true, holding back, hiding on the Raptors' perimeter, or staying out late to manipulate a trade doesn't exactly demonstrate a whole lot of charm or character. But he's the Nets' character now.

Think anyone in Jersey cares what happened or didn't happen in Toronto?

Nice holiday photo on NBA.com of Baron Davis dressed as Santa at a community function. Ironic, since Davis and Claus both work about one day a year.