One of the few rules I live by, and repeat in print ad nauseam, is that there is no such thing as a thought crime. I codify this to: If What Happens in the Brain Stays in the Brain, No Sin Has Occurred, However Awful the Thought. I recently began to reconsider the wisdom of this rule. It happened during the Supreme Court confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh.
The event was immensely important. The fate of the country was at stake. And yet, driven by primordial impulses beyond my control, every time I looked at a video or photograph of Kavanaugh testifying before a packed committee room, all I could focus on was lawyer-type ladies in the audience in skirts or dresses, with their legs crossed. Mortifyingly, I do the same for pictures of funerals, because women look great in black. I regret all of this deeply, sincerely apologize to the world's 4 billion women, and I hereby repent of it.
While I am at it: