Sometimes, you might get to the end of a year and be glad it’s over. And it seems that whoever coined the term 忘年会 (bōnenkai) shared that sentiment, as the three kanji individually mean 忘 (bō), forget; 年 (nen, toshi), year; and 会 (kai), party or meet-up.

Together, 忘年会 is used to refer to an “end-of-year party,” and its dictionary definition is “その年の苦労を忘れるために年末に催す宴会” (sono toshi no kurō o wasureru tame ni nenmatsu ni moyo’osu enkai, a party held at the end of the year to forget the hardships of that year.) But more colloquially, it means a chance to get drunk and forget that night. Whether you drink enough to forget an entire year is a different question!

For the past few decades, at least, 忘年会 have been commonly associated with 飲み会 (nomikai, drinking parties) held by whatever company you work at. Typically, depending on the size of the company, this might involve finding a place that does お店まるごと貸切 (o-mise marugoto kashikiri, renting out an entire restaurant). At larger companies, it’s more likely that there will be smaller parties for each 部 (bu, department).

If saying 乾杯 (kanpai, cheers) with your 部長 (buchō, department head) doesn’t sound like a lot of fun, though, that’s probably at least in part because of the social norms usually associated with those work interactions. Enter 無礼講 (bureikō, drinking as equals).

Although the kanji compound 無礼講 has the term 無礼 (burei, rudeness) in it, that does not mean it is a chance to be rude, but simply to have fun. Saying “無礼講だ” (bureikō da) is a bit like saying, “今日は固い話は抜きにしましょう” (Kyō wa katai hanashi wa nuki ni shimashō, Let’s avoid talking about serious topics today).

But in recent years there has been a bit of a change in attitude toward these parties. 新型コロナウイルスの影響で忘年会などがだいぶ変わりました (Shingata koronauirusu no eikyō de bōnenkai nado ga daibu kawarimashita, Things like end-of-year parties have changed a lot due to the novel coronavirus).

Last year, in an online survey by internet service provider Biglobe, when asked about attendance for 職場・仕事関係の忘年会 (shokuba/shigoto kankei no bōnenkai, end-of-year parties related to the workplace/work), 59.1% of the 1,000 participants answered “参加したくない” (sanka shitakunai, I don’t want to attend).

One of the most commonly selected reasons for not wanting to join was “気をつかいたくないから” (ki o tsukaitakunai kara, I don’t want to worry [about others]). This was followed closely by お金がもったいないから (okane ga mottainai kara, it’s a waste of money) and 時間がもったいないから (jikan ga mottainai kara, it’s a waste of time).

If you’re not inclined to such gatherings, some more acceptable reasons for your absence could be: 次の日朝5時起きなのできついんです (Tsugi no hi asa go-ji oki nanode kitsui-n-desu, I have to be up at 5 in the morning the next day, so it’s a bit difficult) or その日予定があるから行けないんです (Sono hi yotei ga aru kara ikenai-n-desu, I have plans that day, so I can’t go). Or, if you feel like being more straightforward, you can simply say 申し訳ないですが、飲み会が苦手なんです (mōshiwakenai desu ga, nomikai ga nigate nan-desu, I’m sorry, but I’m not very good with drinking parties). It’s important to remember that by using んです (n-desu) at the end of the sentence, you are softening the blow with what may be received as a disappointing response to the listener.

We can also gain some insight into the opposite side of the coin with a similar-sized survey conducted this year by technology start-up NafiaS. Of those who answered “参加したくて参加する” (sanka shitakute sanka suru, I would like to join, so I will), the majority stated their reason as “社内のコミュニケーションを大切にしたいから” (shanai no komyunikēshon o taisetsu ni shitai kara, because I value good workplace communication). The next most popular answer was “リフレッシュの場として楽しみにしているから” (rifuresshu no ba toshite tanoshimi ni shite-iru kara, I am looking forward to it as a place to refresh).

If that sounds more like you, then you can express your excitement to your coworkers with a simple sentence like, 忘年会を楽しみにしています (Bōnenkai o tanoshimi ni shite-imasu, I’m looking forward to the end-of-year party).

So, it seems that having a couple of years without big 忘年会 has, at the very least, encouraged people to rethink its place in Japanese society. However, there’s no reason you can’t just do the same thing with a few friends, instead.

友達と一緒でも同僚たちと一緒でも、新しい気持ちで次の一年を迎えましょう (Tomodachi to issho demo, dōryō-tachi to issho demo, atarashii kimochi de tsugi no ichinen o mukaemashō, Whether it’s with friends or with colleagues, let’s welcome the new year with a fresh attitude).

Party talk

Here are a few extra terms you may want to know before the 忘年会 (bōnenkai, end-of-year party) this year:

  • 幹事 (kanji): This is the person in charge of the party. They’ll be in charge of things like organizing the venue and collecting the money.
  • ビールの人・方 (biru no hito/kata): “Who wants beer?” At many 忘年会 it is usually the first drink.
  • 乾杯 (kanpai): Cheers! Remember to wait until everyone has a drink before you take your first sip.
  • 余興 (yokyō): A performance or the entertainment at the party.
  • 御酌 (o-shaku): Pouring the alcohol for your boss. When doing so, say the honorific phrase, “お注ぎします” (o-sosogi shimasu, let me pour you some more).
  • お開き (o-hiraki): The adjournment of the party, which is often accompanied by a speech and a final clap.
  • 二次会 (nijikai): The afterparty, which is never mandatory and often involves カラオケ (karaoke).