I don't know about you, but I am glad to see the 20th century out the door! And I hope all those crooks out there that made millions on the Y2K scare choke on all that cash -- taking advantage of a bad situation like that is shameful, like selling shovels to rescue workers at the site of an earthquake.

Anyway, 1999 went out with a couple of good shows. One was the Stylistics at the Soul Train Cafe in Odaiba. Actually, I went there to see the opening act, Sincere, a female vocalist I know from way back. I gave up my seat near the front and positioned myself at the bar soon after they finished. This turned out to be a choice spot. No more waiting for drinks, and plenty of interesting company. I couldn't see the stage very well, but you can't always have everything.

The Stylistics did all their old hits: "Betcha by Golly Wow," "People Make the World Go Round," etc. They made me remember the lights being turned on at the high school parties because we were "dancing" too close.

When I did look up at the stage, the Stylistics were entertaining the crowd with a variety of different steps and routines. I have to admit, they are still pretty smooth for their age. At the rate they're going I'm sure we'll be seeing them again. If we're lucky they might even come out with a new album to remind us of the good old days.

My last party of the year was Noreaga and MJG & 8-Ball at Yokohama Bay Hall. (I like the parties down there, but I hate the location. I've never been able to drive back the same way I get there. I think there's some black hole between Tokyo and Yokohama that I fall into each time.) I love gangsta rap, and these are two of my favorite groups. You can go into a record shop and pick up any of their albums, old or new, and know it's going to be good. They just don't make whack tracks.

The live show was hot, and then DJ Ty took over at the turntables, cutting it up! The party just kept going -- hardcore gangsta till you drop.

DJ Ty, by the way, has been working on his own compilation CDs. He's on volume six now -- all the best songs on one CD: Ruff Ryders, Noreaga, Ice Cube, Master P and even G-Money, our own local shining star, a female rap artist who got her start right here in Japan. To check this CD out, contact DJ Ty at (090) 1880-9786.

Inside the club I met up with my friend Motoko, who works with Rings, a big fight promotion company. She was there with Kevin Randleman, the current Ultimate Fighting Champion. U.F.C. fights are no-holds-barred, open-weight competitions held in an octagonal ring -- surrounded by a high chain-link fence. You have to see one of these fights to believe it. Elbows, knees, choke holds, joint locks, roundhouse kicks and haymakers -- all the good stuff.

Randleman isn't that tall, but he's built like a 100-kg fireplug. He's got some hard bouts ahead to keep his title, but that wasn't on his mind that night. The party was kicking way too hard to be thinking about fighting. Anyway, the finals will be at the Budokan Feb. 26, so let's get ready to rumble! For more info on the U.F.C. fights call Rings (03) 3461-0257.

The after-party, titled "Dog Night" and produced by Odoriya, was across the parking lot in Club Heaven. The scene was far from Heaven, though. I could have sworn I smelled brimstone and saw several people sprout horns while dancing. The music was loud; the vibrations went through us like electrical currents, pushing us onward, deeper into the depths of the club.

The next thing I remember, the sky was getting light, and I was already in the black hole between Tokyo and Yokohama, wondering where I would be when I reached the other side this time.

It seemed only proper for the year to go out with a bang like that. I must have lost 1,999,000 brain cells in 1999. Now, I was ready to sit at home and do nothing on New Year's Eve, waiting for the lights and all the utilities to go out because of Y2K . . .

So gullible.