In Japan, Christmas Eve is considered akin to Valentine’s Day, a romantic holiday when couples, especially those still dating, are all but expected to go somewhere fancy for a festive night on the town.
The palpable pressure to have a picture-perfect date has gradually been easing over time, but if you’ve got a partner this holiday season, you may still want to know how Japanese couples plan their dates on this all-important evening.
The big picture
Japan’s Christmas is much less religious than in other countries, and attending a church service isn’t common. Similarly, big home parties are rarely found because Dec. 25 is not a national holiday. Unless the calendar aligns with weekends — which, unfortunately, isn't the case this year — most people will work as usual and celebrate modestly on Dec. 24, often with fried or roasted chicken from KFC instead of turkey. Strawberry shortcakes are also a popular dessert choice on Christmas, though fruit cakes like stollen are common, too.
For those hoping to have a special night with their romantic partner, over 60% of people plan to spend between ¥5,000 and ¥10,000 for Christmas Eve dinner according to ecommerce platform OZmall — a figure that points to a growing desire for a slightly more luxurious experience than usual. Some opt to spend more on wine and a course dinner, while many find an under-¥5,000 limit is more realistic for a party with friends.
Gift exchange is also a big part of Christmas in Japan, so even if it’s a casual home party with friends, it’s best to still show up with a small token of your appreciation.
Plan ahead for Christmas
A date night on Christmas Eve typically starts with a romantic dinner at a restaurant often with a great view or a private space. Those in more serious relationships may book a fancy hotel room in advance, thus many couples will have begun discussing their Christmas plans well beforehand to secure their favorite place.
It may sound overwhelming, but it’s not too late — the most important thing is to plan something. A blase attitude is a big faux pas, so ask your partner about their wishes, share yours and settle somewhere in between.
No matter where you end up, however, get ready for crowds. Among the most popular destinations on Christmas Eve are winter illumination displays, restaurants, Christmas markets and hot springs.
Gift exchange
Gift-giving needs planning, too, but how one-sided this should be is debatable.
Many in Japan prefer to be surprised, but others find it wasteful to buy something that may not be appreciated. Find out which opinion your loved one has and enjoy shopping together if they think that works best.
If your relationship is still too new for expensive gifts but you don’t want to show up to your date empty-handed, pick a small, low-stakes gift like a little bouquet, a box of fancy chocolate, a scented candle or eye-pleasing stationery — depending on your partner’s preference.
First date? Be careful
If your first date happens to fall on Dec. 24, then pick your pre- or post-dinner destination carefully. The Christmas Markets at Roppongi and Azabudai Hills are beautiful, but the long periods you’ll be spending outside in the cold mean a cup of hot cocoa or mulled wine purchased in advance could come in handy.
Like dinner, be sure to avoid marching into busy areas of Tokyo like Shinjuku and Shibuya without a plan. You might find yourself and your partner stuck in a long queue just to catch a glimpse of some Christmas lights. In such cases, disposable kairo (hand warmers) could be a lifesaver.
Currently, Tokyo Midtown is holding an illumination event, Ensemble Lights, with snow and bubble effects. You can also find stunning illuminations at Omotesando Street, Marunouchi Naka-dori Street and Shibuya’s Koen-dori Street to Yoyogi Park Keyaki Namiki Street. If you’re based in Osaka, Midosuji Street is a must-see around Christmas. Remember, some Christmas markets like the one at Jingu Gaien and Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse need tickets to enter.
Common manners
If your partner has high expectations for your Christmas Eve date, any blunder of yours that would get you in hot water during the rest of the year might do double the damage on Christmas.
It may sound obvious, but being late without any notice could do a lot of harm if your partner is punctual. With potentially so many people traveling to their own dates on Dec. 24, delays are inevitable, so even if it’s just a couple of minutes, it’s safe to text your partner, let them know you’re delayed and give them a specific time when you’ll be there. Better yet, aim to be a little early.
Christmas is the time to give as well as receive — and this goes for making sure your partner is having a good time, too. Some say it’s difficult to tell if their partner is having a good time because Japanese people tend to remain polite and relatively quiet while dating, but you can always show your interest and ask them how they feel.
To maintain a healthy relationship well after the holiday season, it’s better to show how you appreciate your loved one. If you want to cover the fancy dinner’s check, go with the flow and tell them they can treat you next time. The New Year’s holidays are a great time to learn about each other’s customs, too, even for Japanese couples, and planning the next date could make a lovely gift as well.
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