It’s not just me, right? Things have been tough these past few years. Through no particular effort of my own, I’ve picked up scary compounds like 気候変動 (kikō hendō, climate change), 景気後退 (keiki kōtai, economic recession) and 社会不安 (shakai fuan, social unrest). I keep seeing the word #弾道ミサイル (#dandō misairu, #ballistic missile) trending on Twitter. Also, there was about a month last year when you couldn’t get a large McDonald’s french fries for love or money.

Maybe you too are feeling less than 元気 (genki, spirited), or even a little frustrated. Grappling with 悩み事 (nayamigoto, worries), feeling へこたれている (hekotarete-iru, run down) or in a 複雑な心境 (fukuzatsuna shinkyō, complicated emotional state).

Sometimes it helps to talk to someone, so here are some terms (together with grammar points) you can use when someone asks, どうしたの？ (Dōshita no?, “What’s up?”)

Job stress

There are many reasons why a person might be 落ち込んでいる (ochikonde-iru, feeling down), and their job is probably related to at least four of them.

Using the passive form (～られる, ~rareru) is good for indicating when something happens to you, and a ～てしまった・ちゃった (~teshimatta/chatta) ending helps express that it was indeed a bummer:

  • この間、仕事で失敗して上司に怒られちゃった (Kono aida, shigoto de shippai shite jōshi ni okorarechatta, I messed up at work the other day, and my boss got angry at me).

Attaching そう (sō) to a verb stem expresses a prediction or observation, such as below, where it literally means, “seems like I’m going to die”:

  • 会社でこき使われていて死にそう (Kaisha de koki-tsukawarete-ite shinisō, My job is running me ragged, and I’m not sure how much more I can take).

The しか...～ない (shika ... ~nai) construction helps you communicate when something is less than desired or hoped. Don’t forget to conjugate into the negative:

  • 毎日残業をしないといけないからいつも4，5時間しか寝ていない (Mainichi zangyō o shinai to ikenai kara itsumo shi, go jikan shika nete-inai, I have to work overtime every day, so I only ever get four, five hours of sleep).

Attach のに (noni) to a short-form verb when you want to follow it up with a contrasting statement:

  • バタバタしているのに、仕事にやりがいがなくて全部がむなしく感じる (Bata-bata shite-iru noni, shigoto ni yarigai ga nakute zenbu ga munashiku kanjiru, I’m super busy, but my job seems meaningless and it all feels pointless).

Social struggles

Maintaining friendships, or starting new ones, can be hard as an adult. Especially if Japan isn’t your native country, you may sometimes 孤独感に襲われる (kodoku-kan ni osowareru, be overcome by a sense of isolation).

Once you have the vocabulary, there are a few grammatical structures you can use to get them to flow correctly in your speech. For example, you can use the adverb naka-naka to express that something is of a significant or insurmountable degree:

  • 言葉の壁があるとまともな人間関係はなかなか作れない (Kotoba no kabe ga aru to matomona ningen kankei wa naka-naka tsukurenai, Because of the language barrier, I just can’t seem to form meaningful connections with people).

And, here comes our friend the passive form (～られる) again:

  • 日本語で話している時はよく置いてきぼりにされる (Nihongo de hanashite-iru toki wa yoku oite-kibori ni sareru, When everyone’s speaking Japanese, I tend to get left out of the conversation).

Adding ～し (~shi) to the end of a short-form verb expresses a mild emphasis as part of a larger point. It is frequently used when making multiple statements about the same idea (or implying that a statement is one of many that could be made):

  • 向こうから呼ばれないし、こっちから遊びに行こうって言ってもスルーされる (Mukō kara yobarenai-shi, kotchi kara asobi ni ikō-tte ittemo surū sareru, They never invite me to hang out, and if I suggest it myself, they avoid answering the question).

Personal unfulfillment

Sometimes life itself can feel stressful. That’s especially true when 将来の見通しが立たない (shōrai no mitōshi ga tatanai, you don’t know what the future holds). There are a few ways to share that feeling. なんだか (Nandaka) is used to express the sense that something has no clear reason:

  • なんだか人生の先が見えなくなっちゃっている (Nandaka jinsei no saki ga mienaku natchatte-iru, I just feel like I don’t know where my life is headed).

空回り (Karamawari) literally means “idling,” like an engine that has been left in neutral:

  • 何をやっても空回りをしている感じだ (Nani o yatte mo karamawari o shite-iru kanji da, No matter what I do, it feels like I’m just spinning my wheels).

なんか (Nanka) can be used for emphasis. The pattern of “(noun) nanka nai” is a strong, casual way to express mild disdain for the thing you lack:

  • 夢なんかない。夢を持つこと自体が夢みたいになっている (Yume nanka nai. Yume o motsu koto jitai ga yume mitai ni natte-iru, I don’t have any aspirations. I barely even aspire to have aspirations).

Although both いつも (itsumo) and ずっと (zutto) mean “always,” the former carries the nuance of “constantly,” whereas zutto expresses the idea of “wholly”:

  • ずっと悩んでばかりで全然決断ができない (Zutto nayande bakari de zenzen ketsudan ga dekinai, I spend all my time worrying and never really decide on anything.

Offering support

It’s good to be able to express malaise, but it’s also important to know how to respond when someone asks you, どうすればいいんだ？ (Dō sureba ii-n-da?, What should I do?) The ending ～んだね (~n-da ne) can be used to acknowledge someone:

  • これまでよく頑張ってきたんだね。今は大変だけど、一緒に乗り越えていこう (Kore made yoku ganbatte-kita-n-da ne. Ima wa taihen da kedo, issho ni norikoete-ikō, Sounds like you’re going through a lot. I know things are hard now, but they’ll get better).

The quotative particle と (to) is often shortened to って (tte) in spoken Japanese, especially when speaking casually. っていう (Tte iu) means something like, “(they) say that”:

  • 人生は一進一退の連続だっていうけど、自信を持って進むしかないでしょう (Jinsei wa isshin ittai no renzoku da-tte iu kedo, jishin o motte susumu shika nai deshō, They say life has its ups and downs, but all you can do is believe in yourself and keep moving forward).

～たらどう・だらどう (~tara dō/~dara dō) can be used when giving suggestions or advice. The adverbial phrase isso no koto indicates something is being done as a last resort.

  • 自分を見失わってはいけないから、いっそのこと仕事をやめてしばらく休んだらどう (Jibun o miushinatte wa ikenai kara, isso no koto shigoto o yamete shibaraku yasundara dō?, What’s important is that you don’t lose sight of yourself. It may sound extreme, but you can always quit your job if things get to be too much).