A woman writes of a quest, not hers but a friend's. This friend is looking for a man she knew many years ago. He was born in Hokkaido in 1913. He was a Christian and was active with the Young Men's Christian Association. He traveled widely in foreign countries in connection with that work.

Several times he was picked up for questioning by the Japanese police during the days leading up to World War II. During one questioning, he lost the ability to hear in one ear. By chance, he was in the United States when Pearl Harbor was bombed and was held for a while at a military installation until he was released because of the number of American friends who vouched for him. Later, in cooperation with the Federal Council of Churches, he was active in helping Japanese resettle in New York. His wife's name was Emma and his sons were called Teddy and Jim in the U.S. He wrote a book, "A Brother is a Stranger," with an introduction by Pearl Buck. After the war he returned to Japan, where he taught English on Japanese radio.

It was then that she lost touch with her friend. She heard that he probably died during the 1960s. She has never forgotten him. He was instrumental in her life because he introduced her to a different way of viewing the world around her as well as making it possible for her to develop close friendships with many Japanese people. She adds that she was working at a factory after high school when they first met and without his encouragement she would never have gone to college. Now she wonders how he spent his later years and what happened to his family. She heard one of the sons had some connection with Meiji Gakuen.

Sound like someone you know? If you can match a man to this description, she would like to hear from you. I will forward any letters I receive.

There have been a number of letters like this over the years and I always wonder: What happens if she finds some member of the family? Will she invite him/her to the U.S. for a reunion? Will she come to Japan? Or does she only want to know what happened to a dear friend? Perhaps it is enough to know that once a pleasant relationship existed, and that it is remembered. Life is give and take; sometimes we give, sometimes we take, and with luck, it balances out in the end.

A gentleman remembers a column from a number of years ago that summarized some new regulations that had strengthened the rights of tenants in disputes with landlords or agents. Now he is about to leave Japan and he wonders what those regulations are. He would like to have a copy of that column. He is especially interested in learning what he can expect concerning the return of his deposit.

There is quite a collection of old columns dealing with assorted problems between lessor and lessee. It is a general rule that the agent will want to keep as much as he can and the tenant will want it all returned. I was interested in a comment I heard just last week. I was having some minor repairs made and I pointed to a carpet that had been damaged by a repairman, explaining that I was concerned that I would be charged. I was assured that I shouldn't worry, that anything that had been in use for 10 years or more was written off. I hope he will be the one to inspect my apartment when I leave -- and that he will remember.

Still, whatever applied in those old columns is hardly applicable today. There have been a lot of changes since those prosperous bubble days. Then and now, most negotiations are on a case-by-case basis. If the amount deducted seems excessive and unfair, one has a right to complain, and cases are often settled in ways very favorable to the tenant. Gone, however, are the tremendous amounts of money that were once paid to tenants for the favor of vacating the premises, usually so the property could be sold yet again for a tremendous amount of money to be used in some proposed gigantic new development.

The longer a tenant has lived in a house/apartment, the stronger his/her position is. If there are serious problems with a landlord, it is best to use an intermediary for discussions; this could be his agent. Face-to-face confrontations are an awkward way of solving problems in Japan. First, however, he should check his rental contract. It will indicate how much room there is for negotiation.