In Japan, matchmaking services typically emphasize pairing individuals with shared values, but Buddhist monk Koshi Kimiya believes that a successful marriage depends on something else: a willingness to adapt to each other.
As the master of Ryounji temple in Hamamatsu, Shizuoka Prefecture, Kimiya, 47, encourages singles to approach konkatsu marriage hunting with an open mind, focusing not just on compatibility but also the importance of cultivating understanding over time.
With the number of childbirths continuing to decline at an alarming rate in the country, an increasing number of prefectural governments and other administrative organizations are stepping in to support individuals searching for life partners, following in the footsteps of private marriage counseling services and matchmaking apps.
Kimiya's philosophy challenges the conventional wisdom of these services, which prioritize like-mindedness. He is also the founder of Kichienkai, a nationwide matchmaking organization run by temples affiliated with the Myoshinji temple school of the Rinzai sect of Zen Buddhism. In March, Kichienkai celebrated its 15th anniversary. The group's name roughly translates as "Good Match Group."
On Jan. 26, around 30 people gathered at Hoshuji temple in Nagoya, capital of Aichi Prefecture, for a membership registration meeting organized by Kichienkai's Nagoya branch, which oversees its operations in central Japan.
Ryuho Yamanaka, the 57-year-old master of Ryosenji temple in the Aichi town of Fuso and head of the branch's secretariat, met with prospective members to review their personal documents and provide an overview of the organization.
Participating in a Kichienkai marriage-hunting event costs just ¥4,000, both for men and for women. There are no additional costs, such as registration fees, monthly fees or rewards for successful matches. Still, people wishing to join must attend a free registration meeting beforehand.
Those willing to invest time and effort "like this clearly have a genuine desire (to marry)," Yamanaka said. "So far, there have been no major issues, and the membership is split evenly between men and women."
Single individuals between the ages of 25 and 45 are eligible to register with Kichienkai. Upon arrival, visitors scan a barcode with their smartphones and enter their profiles into a dedicated online system while waiting for an interview with the Buddhist monk and other organizers. Participants are also guided to complete details, such as a self-introduction, to prepare for the marriage-hunting event.
After completing the registration, a man in his 40s said, "I noticed a disconnect when I met a woman I had linked with on a matching app." He expressed his hopes for Kichienkai's system, in which participants can meet potential partners before exchanging messages.
"I'm interested in visiting shrines and temples, so I was drawn to (this initiative). I came here as my first step," said a woman in her 20s.
Kichienkai was founded at Ryounji temple in March 2010. As the temple's deputy master at that time, Kimiya was inspired to take action after hearing an acquaintance express concerns about the high costs of marriage consultation services.
At the time, there was growing talk about the risks of dating websites. Kimiya recalled thinking, "People wouldn't feel uneasy about temples, and they could participate in (matchmaking events) with only the actual costs involved."
More than 1,000 temples across Japan now collaborate with his temple, and over 30,000 individuals have registered as members. While members who marry after meeting through Kichienkai are not required to submit marriage reports, the group has learned that more than 2,200 members have tied the knot. "I'm grateful for this number, which indicates many people trust the temples," Kimiya said.
The enduring popularity of Kichienkai is rooted in an idea that contrasts with the widely accepted approach to marriage hunting in Japan, which emphasizes finding partners with the same values.
"This may be a Buddhist way of thinking. It's better to find happiness with the partner you meet than to search for a partner you think will make you happy," Kimiya said. He emphasizes this mindset at marriage-hunting events.
Kichienkai is a fully charitable initiative. Its operations do not lead to an increase in the number of parishioners or Buddhist-style weddings.
"Marriage-hunting services offered by private-sector companies tend to be expensive," said Kimiya, who remains committed to maintaining the nonprofit approach to matchmaking.
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