In Japan, about 42,000 children are unable to live with their biological parents due to bereavement, abuse, poverty or various other reasons.

The "special adoption" system is a way to bring these children into a home and legally establish a parent-child relationship. However, 80% of such children are being cared for in institutions, with the number of adoptions having been sluggish even after a Civil Code revision in 2020 that eased conditions.

The special adoption system began in 1988. In principle, married couples over the age of 25 are eligible to adopt. They can either apply to private organizations that facilitate adoptions or register with public child consultation centers as "foster parents who wish to adopt." After a period of observation, the adoption is finalized by a court decision.

Under the special adoption system, the child's legal relationship with his or her biological parents is terminated, and his or her name is written in a new family register as the "first son" or the "first daughter,” where they are the new legal parent's first child, or the second or third as appropriate.

On the other hand, in the "regular adoption” system — which has been in place since the Meiji Era (1868-1912) — the child's legal relationship with their birth parents is retained, and they are recorded as an "adopted son" or "adopted daughter" in the family register.

Other ways children can be re-homed include the foster parent system, in which children are raised by foster parents for a certain period of time, and so-called family homes, in which guardians who meet certain conditions raise several children at home.

Under the 2016 revision of the Child Welfare Act, it was stipulated that raising these children in an environment more similar to a home should be prioritized over raising them in institutions. The government also set a numerical target of achieving at least 1,000 special adoptions a year, and said it “aims to increase the number” thereafter.

However, according to judicial statistics, the number of special adoptions has remained between 600 and 700 each year, even though the numbers are higher than before the revision.

In order to further encourage use of the system, the Civil Code was revised in 2020 to ease the age threshold below which children can be adopted, raising it from under 6 to under 15 in principle. Even so, there were 683 special adoptions in 2021 — far below the target of 1,000 cases.

The Iwasaki family

The daily lives of Takashi and Chie Iwasaki with their adopted children offer a glimpse into how parents can establish a new bond with children despite a lack of biological ties.

Takashi, 46, who works as a Japanese-language teacher, and Chie, 41, who runs a beauty salon next to their home, live in the city of Fukuyama, in Hiroshima Prefecture, with Chie’s mother, Mieko Yasuhara, 74. The family has two adopted children, Shoji, 6, and Ichika, 3.

Shoji, who is called "Sho-kun" by his family, loves to play with toy cars. When his sister, nicknamed "Icchan," begs him to lend her one, he lets her play with it without a fuss. "He's becoming more like a big brother," Takashi says, joyfully.

Shoji has Down syndrome and does not speak words yet. Still, he and his sister play well together. Chie says just seeing them play together makes her happy, adding that she feels from the bottom of her heart that adopting Shoji despite his condition was the right decision to make. "I’m glad I didn’t give up back then," she said.

It was in the fall of 2016 that the couple received a long-awaited phone call from a nonprofit organization in the Kanto region that facilitates the special adoption program.

The couple, then married 10 years, applied with the NPO to adopt at the beginning of that year, after deciding to halt infertility treatment that had worn them out both physically and mentally. When the organization said they had a baby the couple could adopt, Chie immediately said, "We’ll take it!"

Although she was told the baby had a disability, she and her husband had decided that they would welcome a child no matter what the child’s circumstances were. Even during the infertility treatment, she was willing to nurture any life she could, in an age when chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus can be detected before birth.

“We discussed that it would be the same for an adoption," she said. The couple had no doubts about their decision, and Chie was so excited that she would finally be able to hold her own child in her arms.

However, all their relatives were vehemently opposed. Chie’s mother, who had been living with the couple since the start of their marriage, also voiced strong opposition, saying, "You will definitely have a hard time." Some of her relatives even threatened to sever ties.

Chie recalls being so upset, and thinking, "I’m choosing to be happy, but is this making people around me unhappy?"

The next morning, she called the organization and told them, crying, that the couple was taking back their decision, only to be overcome with regret soon after. "I really didn't want to lose my son," she said. "Besides, I didn't want him to go to an institution."

Chie said she talked about it with her husband over and over again, thinking they would deprive the child of an opportunity to grow up with all the love he deserves and that they would in fact be choosing a life. After giving it much thoughts, the couple made a final decision on the third day.

They decided to become parents, even if it meant leaving Chie’s family home. They decided on a new house that day — which seemed to signal their strong resolve to relatives, who rushed from Tokyo to discuss the matter. After talking, Chie's mother agreed, saying, "If you so insist, you should raise your child in this house.”

Overcoming conflict

Six and a half years have passed since then. Their son, who came to the family at seven weeks old, is growing up slowly but steadily.

"Of course, it's hard work. Raising a child is full of challenges," Chie said with a laugh.

When Shoji first arrived, he had a hole in his heart and could not drink milk well. On many days, both mother and son became so exhausted that they fell asleep together while feeding. Chie says she sometimes thought, "If I had given birth on my own, I may have been able to do better."

But she says it was Shoji who helped her overcome her anxiety. He was trying his best to live, giving his whole self to her and smiling like an angel. Her love for Shoji grew bigger and bigger, which made her think, "I’m the only one for him, and he is the only one for me."

In order to increase the number of days they could take Shoji to a care facility for children with special needs, the family drastically changed their lifestyle. Takashi quit his job as an office worker and became a househusband for a while. Takashi says those days taught him many things.

"For example, I became convinced that the idea of 'disability equals unhappiness' is wrong," he said. His son takes time to learn anything, like walking, holding things or drinking without spilling. Even so, the boy is gradually learning to do more and more things, and that gives joy to his parents each time.

"The children are giving us the strength to live," Chie said.

Three years ago, the family welcomed Ichika, who came at 10 days old through a special adoption. Since then, the family has become even busier, but its members experience more joy and have stopped worrying about little things.

"I feel that the children have made us parents and that we have been nurtured by them," Chie said.

The relatives who had opposed adoption at first are now very understanding, with Chie's mother being the most supportive. She fully helps her daughter and son-in-law, who both work now.

The couple hopes that "society will recognize and accept" the diversity of family structures and people with disabilities.

They hope that people will think of them and their children not as "someone different from normal" but look at them with warm hearts. This, they believe, will lead to making society an easier place for their children to live.

This section features topics and issues covered by the Chugoku Shimbun, the largest newspaper in the Chugoku region. The original article was published March 14.