Under normal circumstances, any movie with Colin Firth has me from the moment he says "Hello." And "Kingsman: The Secret Service" shows off Firth playing a super-cool gentleman spy in a super-elite British intelligence unit wearing a super-bespoke suit. And he even quotes one of Hemingway's greatest lines: "There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self."

So, obviously, my first instinct was to reach for a very dry martini, in a big toast to Firth. My second instinct was to chuck all work out the window after having written the following review: I love, love this movie to bits and you should too.

Done.