The hairstylist exclaims, "Wow, you live in Japa'an!" — pronouncing the word as if it was a diphthong. I am home for a friend's wedding, and getting my hair cut.
"How exciting!" the hairstylist says, which really means she thinks I must be a complete moron to live in Japan.
"I could never do that," she confesses, confirming my suspicion. "What about your family? Don't you miss them?" Now she wants some answers.