NEW YORK -- You realize, of course, Kobe Bryant knew exactly what he was doing when he made himself available for an interview on ex-Laker Mychal Thompson's L.A. radio show earlier this week.

If you know Kobe you know without a doubt his non-constructive comments directed at Karl Malone were not remotely impulsive; forbiddingly formulated is what they were.

You don't have to know what I know to know this wasn't harmless chitchat; he was manning his harpoon.

This was Kobe at his calculating crest, deviously disrespecting and disowning Malone publicly before Lakers owner Jerry Buss had a chance to formalize two separate contracts (management and playing) that have been in the makings for months.

Prepare for a non-revelation: The same person who swears he had nothing to do with the deportation of Shaquille O'Neal and Phil Jackson, let everyone know, especially Malone, where he's coming from.

Referring to his teammates Kobe declared, "They are here giving me 110 percent. It's really not fair for us to sit around and speculate how long this is going to go on.

"I mean, you can't sit up here and speculate for the remainder of the season whether or not he is going to come back. I mean, that's not fair to the guys that are working here."

Giving HIM 110 percent?

How's that for an unparalleled narcissistic statement?!?

The Lakers are giving HIM 110 percent?!?

Is Kobe really so self-absorbed that he thinks his teammates are playing for HIM?!?

Has his swollen ego gotten so deformed he sees himself above Buss and coach Rudy Tomjanovich?

We all know Kobe orchestrated hiring the sideline help after his first choice wisely decided to stay put at Duke, but we never thought he would reveal himself as such a megalomaniac.

If that doesn't say it all about HIM what does?!?

Naturally, Malone wants nothing more to do with HIM or the Lakers, instantly making the Spurs heavily favored over the Timberwolves and Heat to sign The Mailman -- finally pronounced fit to resume his rounds following offseason knee surgery -- should he decide a few weeks from now to pursue (1,459 behind) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's all-time scoring mark of 38,387.

Not that Malone is inclined to confront Kobe as of yet, at least not for our drooling consumption.

For the time being, he's taking the mountain bypass. For now he's content to monitor Kobe's mouth, waiting to see if anything more defamatory spews from it.

Instead, agent Dwight Manley boarded L.A.'s crowded airwaves on his client's behalf.

He followed up Kobe's cutting remarks with some slicing and dicing of his own. Branding Kobe an ungrateful wretch on one sports talk show, Manley noted how much (money and shots) Malone sacrificed last season by joining the Lakers in hopes of winning his first title, and how supportive he was during the (almost) trials and tribulations of his teammate/new best friend.

Sad to say, Malone may very well have been Kobe's last friend standing who's not rummaging for an exclusive story.

So, what happened?

For the longest time, Kobe and Malone, their homes blocks away from each other in Orange County, communicated on a regular basis. A few weeks ago, Malone attended at least two practices and a pair of home games, the last of which he was observed walking over to where Vanessa Bryant was sitting in the stands and giving her a big hug.

Malone's impending purple and gold comeback apparently was written in cement.

Again, so what happened?

You don't have to rely on a league source to know what always seems to happen.

Somehow Malone managed to cross Vanessa, go to sleep on it. In some way, Malone got on her frosty side and that automatically means you're on the outs with Kobe. Permanently!

It's happened to Kobe's parents, his sisters, his original agent Arn Tellem, sneaker sovereign Sonny Vaccaro, hotel concierges worldwide and now Malone.

Anyone else evicted from the Bryant's inner sanctum is strictly on Kobe.

I'm insanely jealous and in awe; Kobe has alienated more people than any of us, all without benefit of a byline.

This just in: Kobe asked Scott Peterson's family if they would testify on his behalf.

After reviewing all sorts of tape, Oakland County (MI) prosecutors have charged five Pacers and seven "fans" in last month's Motown Meltdown.

Adding to this gross miscarriage of justice was the fact that no one associated with Ron Artest was nominated for a Grammy. The only place he figures to face the music is in court.

Isn't it ironic that Vince Carter, Achilles heel of the Toronto franchise, left the game at Detroit with the same malady?

Carter also missed Saturday's loss at Cleveland with food poisoning, supposedly from the team's game in Boston the night before.

Meanwhile, GM Rob Babcock is holding firm before dealing the disgruntled dude.