Whereas this editorial leader is at least in part calculated to obfuscate momentous contemporary issues, the better to emerge astonishingly prescient after the fact, it will deliberately adopt a stance of maximum evenhandedness, indeed obliquity, and trust an indefatigable readership to plumb, if not fully and definitively discern, the authentic liberal intent herein through the pleonastic haze.

Just kidding. The Japan Times would never sink so low. As a public service, however, it will award a prize for the best attempt to put that sentence into plain English and find the speck of meaning at its core.

The sad fact is that we could all use the practice. Every day, readers of English are confronted with equally horrible examples of gobbledygook, which they must either struggle to decode themselves or, more likely, pay someone to explain to them.