As much as 桜 (sakura, cherry blossoms) are associated with the start of April, look around at the start of May and you’re likely to see 鯉のぼり (koinobori, carp streamers), which are hung in preparation for こどもの日 (kodomo no hi, Children’s Day) on May 5.
Additionally, in the stores are 五月人形 (gogatsu ningyō), which, as the kanji 五月 (gogatsu, May) and 人形 (ningyō, doll) suggest, are dolls seen around this time of year that mark こどもの日. These little 侍 (samurai, samurai) figurines sport 兜 (kabuto, helmets) and 鎧 (yoroi, body armor), and are meant to celebrate your own little 侍, as こどもの日 traditionally focuses on boys. (The 雛祭 [hinamatsuri, doll’s festival] on March 3 celebrates the girls.)
端午の節句としても知られるこどもの日は、子どもの健やかな成長と幸福を願ってお祝いする日です (Tango no sekku to shite mo shirareru kodomo no hi wa, kodomo no sukoyakana seichō to kōfuku o negatte o-iwai suru hi desu, Also known as the Boy’s Festival, Children’s Day is a day to celebrate and wish for our children to grow up happy and healthy).
Also connected to 侍 is the concept of 尚武 (shōbu, martial spirit), which, incidentally, is a homophone for the 菖蒲 (shōbu, irises) that begin to bloom around this time. At grocery stores, you should be able to find the green leaves of 葉菖蒲 (hashōbu, sweet flag) for 菖蒲湯 (shōbuyu, a hot bath with sweet flag leaves). While you’re there, pick up ちまき (chimaki, sticky rice wrapped in bamboo leaves) and 柏餅 (kashiwa mochi, rice cake wrapped with oak leaf), common foods associated with こどもの日.
The day sits at the end of ゴールデンウィーク (gōruden uīku, Golden Week), a 連休 (renkyū, string of holidays) that includes 昭和の日 (Shōwa no hi, Showa Day) on April 29, 憲法記念日 (kenpō kinenbi, Constitution Day) on May 3 and みどりの日 (midori no hi, Greenery Day) on May 4. こどもの日 may be but one holiday during the week, but since the kids are off from school the entire time, it may feel like こどもの日 is every day! まあ、しょうがないか (Mā, shōganai ka, Oh, well).
With all that free time ahead for their children, parents may be concerned about a recent poll that found 65% of Japanese 10-year-olds are using smartphones. The ever-increasing screen time that young children engage in seems to be a universal concern for parents. One friend of mine had a child tell her, スマホが気になってしょうがない (Sumaho ga ki ni natte shōganai, [I] can’t stop thinking about my smartphone). That led her to tell me, 子どもが心配で仕方がないよ (Kodomo ga shinpai de shikata ga nai yo, I can’t help but worry about my child).
The しょうがない (shōganai) and 仕方がない (shikata ga nai) structures can be tricky because their meanings change slightly depending on whether they’re used independently or not. Let’s say, you can’t find anything for your bored, out-of-school child to do during Golden Week. You might say, しょうがない or 仕方がない to yourself, expressing a sentiment of “oh, well,” “it is what it is” or “it can’t be helped” as you sit them in front of the television. (Hey, a parent’s gotta do what a parent’s gotta do.)
The term しょうがない comes from 仕様がない (shiyō ga nai), which is very close in meaning to 仕方がない. Here, both 仕様 (shiyō) and 仕方 (shikata) suggest a “means” or a “method.” So, if someone tells you しょうがないね (shōganai ne) and 仕方がないよ (shikata ga nai yo) when things don’t go well, they’re trying to be comforting.
When these words are combined with verbs and adjectives, しょうがない and 仕方がない insinuate the speaker is troubled or feeling anxious in a way that they cannot bear an external situation. Let’s break down the aforementioned sentence, スマホが気になってしょうがない. The verb here is 気になる (ki ni naru), an intransitive verb that indicates you care about something. しょうがない intensifies your stress. So much so that you’re troubled or worried over not having your スマホ (sumaho, smartphone) on you.
While Japanese tends to use these structures with negative feelings, as in, アンディーがアメリカに帰ってまだ二日しか経っていないのに、寂しくて仕方がない (Andī ga Amerika ni kaette mada futsuka shika tatte-inai noni, sabishikute shikata ga nai, Although it has been only two days since Andy went back to America, I miss him so much [that I can hardly control my emotions]), they can be used with words like 楽しい (tanoshii, enjoyable), 面白い (omoshiroi, interesting/fun) and 嬉しい (ureshii, happy): 久しぶりにアンディーに会えるのが嬉しくて仕方がない (Hisashiburi ni Andī ni aeru no ga ureshikute shikata ga nai, I get to meet Andy for the first time in a long time and I am unbelievably happy).
Similar structures that emphasize a feeling are かなわない (kanawanai), ならない (naranai) and たまらない (tamaranai). The first structure is used to describe something so unbearable that you can’t stand it: 外の工事がうるさくてかなわない (Soto no kōji ga urusakute kanawanai, The construction outside is unbearably loud, I can’t stand it) or こう蒸し暑くてはかなわない (Kō mushiatsukute wa kanawanai, I can’t stand this humidity).
ならない (Naranai) and たまらない (tamaranai) also express the idea of “extremely,” “dying to” or “can hardly stand,” and in many situations are interchangeable with 仕方がない. But, ならない is generally used when speaking about your own feelings, so 気になってしょうがない could be replaced with 気になってならない (ki ni natte naranai, I’m really concerned) or 心配でならない (shinpai de naranai, I’m extremely worried). The child’s dependence on their smartphone is what has triggered equal concern from their mother, so she might have said to me, 子どもが心配でならないよ (Kodomo ga shinpai de naranai yo, I’m extremely worried about my child).
The word たまらない (tamaranai) can describe a person’s desire and tends to be more emotive than 仕方がない. If your child wants to watch YouTube very badly during a family trip, for example, you might say, ユーチューブを見たくてたまらないかもしれないけど、今は家族の時間を楽しもうね (Yūchūbu o mitakute tamaranai kamoshirenai kedo, ima wa kazoku no jikan o tanoshimō ne, You may really want to watch YouTube, but let’s enjoy some family time for now).
On top of that, when the subject is not in the first person, use auxiliaries such as ようだ (yō da), みたいだ (mitai da) and らしい (rashii): 恵美は久しぶりにアンディーに会えるのが嬉しくて仕方がないようだ (Emi wa hisashiburi ni Andī ni aeru no ga ureshikute shikata ga nai yō da, Emi looks beyond happy to be able to meet Andy for the first time in a long time).
If you don’t want your children saying, 何もすることがなくて退屈でしょうがない (Nanimo suru koto ga nakute taikutsu de shōganai, Because I have nothing to do I’m so incredibly bored), it might be good to start planning your Children’s Day as soon as possible.
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