As I dip my toes into middle age, I am surprised to find myself feeling so zen at conforming to many generalizations on aging. For example, I can now withstand the near-boiling temperatures of onsen better than ever, even if that means I emerge the color of a well-cooked cephalopod.

Fortunately, my growing enthusiasm for dad jokes also served as culinary inspiration in this case. Would tako (octopus) do as well after a long, hot bath as I seem to?

As it turns out, long and slow is actually a fantastic way to cook octopus. Slow-cooking meat is common, but not so with seafood, where fast is usually better. Flash-fried, calamari keeps soft, but most seafood, especially squid, cuttlefish and octopus, becomes tough and rubbery after cooking for a medium length of time.