Enryo-shinai-de hayaku haitte-yo! (Don't just stand there — come right in!)

Situation 1: Mr. Sere has invited his friends to his new apartment for a housewarming party. As they arrive, they gather around the entrance.

セレ： みんな、遠慮しないで早く入ってよ。

田町： じゃ、遠慮なくおじゃまするね。

Sere: Minna, enryo-shinai-de hayaku haitte-yo.

Tamachi: Ja, enryo-naku ojama-suru-ne.

Sere: Don't just stand there — come right in!

Tamachi: OK, here we come. Excuse us!

Today we will introduce the proper use of 遠慮(えんりょ). 遠慮 means to refrain from doing something, and can be used when food, money or something else is offered or received, as well as when you ask for or offer an opinion, for example. 遠慮 is generally seen in Japanese society as holding back out of consideration for others, and it can be used as a verb with する. A person offering something often uses expressions such as 遠慮しないで ("Don't hold back"), and the person who is offered something often replies with では、お言葉(ことば)に甘(あま)えて ("If you insist") or 遠慮なく (without hesitation), as in Situation 1. Examples: 何(なに)かわからないことがあったら、遠慮(えんりょ)しないで聞(き)いてください (Don't hesitate to ask me if there's anything you don't understand); この件について、みなさんの遠慮(えんりょ)ない意見(いけん)を聞(き)きたいと思(おも)います (I'd appreciate hearing your frank opinions on this matter); 忙(いそが)しいときは、お互い様(おたがいさま) だから、遠慮せずに頼(たの)んでね (Don't hesitate to ask for help if you get busy we're all in the same boat); 「このお菓子(かし)、 いただいてもいいですか。」 「どうぞご遠慮なく。」 ("Can I have this sweet?" "Sure. Help yourself.")

Situation 2: In the office. Some staff members are going for a drink after work. Ms. Gray invites Mr. Ueno.

グレイ： 上野さんも一緒に行きませんか。

上野： ありがとう。でも、あした、健康診断だから、きょうは遠慮しておくよ。

Gray: Ueno-san-mo issho-ni ikimasen-ka?

Ueno: Arigatō. Demo, ashita, kenkō-shindan-dakara, kyō-wa enryo-shite-oku-yo.

Gray: Why don't you come with us, Mr. Ueno?

Ueno: Thank you, but I've got my medical tomorrow so I think I'll pass.

遠慮(えんりょ)する is also used to decline something or to ask someone politely to stop doing something. The sentence 私(わたし)は遠慮します can be used to decline something politely, and when 遠慮する is used in a request to others, as in ご遠慮いただけませんか, it expresses in a polite way that something is prohibited. Example: 恐(おそ)れ入(い)りますが、こちらでのおたばこはご遠慮いただけますでしょうか (Excuse me, but could you please refrain from smoking here?)

Bonus Dialogue: Mr. Tian visits his old landlady Mrs. Mori's house. She invites him to dinner.

森： ティエンさん、お時間(じかん)があるのなら、ごはんをめしあがっていってくださいね。

ティエン： えっ、きょうはすぐに失礼(しつれい)するつもりだったんですけど...。

森： そんなこと言(い)わないで。大(たい)したものはない けれど、食事(しょくじ)は大勢(おおぜい)で食(た)べる ほうが、楽(たの)しいでしょう？

ティエン： そうですね。じゃ、お言葉(ことば)に甘(あま)えて、遠慮(えんりょ)なくいただきます。...あ、これはおいしそうなおさしみですね。

森： それは、親戚(しんせき)から送(おく)ってきたものなん ですよ。

ティエン： いいご親戚がいらっしゃって、うらやましいですね。 これは何(なん)ですか。すごく変(か)わった形(かたち)をしていますけど。

森： これはホヤといって、海(うみ)の生(い)きものなんだけど、おいしいんですよ。これもどうぞ遠慮なくめしあがってください。

ティエン： うーん、これはちょっと...。せっかくですが、遠慮 させていただきます。

Mori: Mr. Tian, you're welcome to join us for dinner, if you have the time.

Tian: Well, I was just thinking about heading home for the day, actually ...

Mori: I won't hear of it. I haven't got anything special planned, but eating together is more fun, isn't it?

Tian: That's true. Well then, if you insist. ... Oh, these fish look very good.

Mori: Our relatives sent us these.

Tian: You have nice relatives. I envy you. What is this? It has a very strange shape.

Mori: Ah, it's a sea squirt. It's a sea creature, and it tastes lovely. Please help yourself.

Tian: Hmm. Well ... thanks for the offer but I'm good, thanks.