‘What to Do with the Dead Kaiju?’: Satoshi Miki’s inverted monster movie bites off more than it can chew

It takes more than a smart premise to make a movie, but “What to Do with the Dead Kaiju?” has a good one. Satoshi Miki’s creature feature picks up where most of its predecessors end: After rampaging through the capital, a colossal kaijū (monster) has abruptly died, leaving the authorities to figure out how to mop up the mess.

At a buck-passing Cabinet meeting, it quickly becomes clear that the politicians leading the nation through this time of crisis may not be up to snuff. They assemble a group of eminences to pick a name for the deceased beast, and christen it “Hope.” When the carcass starts belching noxious fumes, they choose to refer to the effluent as “the smell of ginkgo.”

The task of disposing of the behemoth falls to Arata Obinata (Ryosuke Yamada), a member of the fictional Japan Special Forces. He’s also a man with a past: He used to date Yukino Amane (Tao Tsuchiya), now secretary to the environment minister (Eri Fuse), only to vanish three years ago in circumstances best described as paranormal.

Yukino’s husband, Masahiko (Gaku Hamada), is the prime minister’s right-hand man, and sports a wispy mustache that’s even more chilling than the titular monster. He’s less than enthusiastic about the return of his old romantic rival, who’s definitely the alpha male in this particular love triangle.

Arata’s mission is given greater urgency after it transpires that the rotting remains threaten to leave more than just a nasty stench. It’s a race against time to save the country from another disaster, with help from a few fellow renegades (including Joe Odagiri’s demolition expert, sporting an impressive set of dreadlocks that makes him look like the bassist from a nu-metal band).

As if it wasn’t already clear, Miki has flipped the script on the traditional monster-movie formula, only to deliver something strikingly similar. “What to Do with the Dead Kaiju?” seems torn between anarchic comedy and the demands of an effects-driven crowd pleaser, and ends up doing neither of them particularly well.

It would be hard to assemble a cast like this — the Cabinet members include old pros such as Toshiyuki Nishida, Takashi Sasano and Seiji Rokkaku — without getting a few chuckles. But it’s disconcerting how few of the gags land, and how often Miki uses slapstick to compensate for the shortage of verbal wit.

Although the film’s production team has solid tokusatsu (special effects) credentials, the visuals are mostly mediocre, especially during the CGI-heavy climax. It pales in comparison to Hideaki Anno’s “Shin Godzilla” (2016), which was also a far more stinging satire of Japan’s political class.

There are a few bright spots: Fuse gets the balance just right as a comically obnoxious lawmaker, and the cherub-faced Hamada has obvious fun playing a villain for a change. But like Miki’s previous feature, “Louder! Can't Hear What You're Singin', Wimp!” (2018), the film seems oblivious to whether any of the ideas it flings against the wall are sticking.

A profusion of cameos just adds to the sense of an opportunity missed. “What to Do with the Dead Kaiju?” probably made a great elevator pitch, but the resulting film bears an unfortunate resemblance to its headline attraction: It’s a gigantic stinker.