If you're in Japan long enough, you're bound to get the opportunity to appear on Japanese TV. If you live in the countryside, such chances could come much sooner and more often, because local stations are always looking for something new and different, and even old, boring foreigners are new and different to the Japanese.

As a result, I've been on Japanese TV so many times that I can't count them. Being the only foreigner on a small island of 566 people, I am a natural target for TV directors looking to do a documentary about a crazy gaijin (foreigner) who lives on a remote Japanese island, channeling Tom Hanks in the movie "Castaway."

But you might want to think before you make the leap to "TV gaijin" in Japan. I learned a long time ago what you can and cannot do on the screen. This led me to believe I was a smart TV guest. But even now, I am constantly proven wrong.