What if the true crisis in East Asia isn't that families are having fewer children, but that society demands every child be a flawless masterpiece?

When an American friend recently asked me, "Japan is safe, prosperous, has well-developed child care leave and medical care, kindergartens are free and kids can even take trains by themselves — unlike America where parents have to drive them everywhere — so why don't people have children?" I found myself grappling with a paradox that extends far beyond Japan's borders.

Across the globe, fertility is declining — but East Asia's plunge is especially alarming. Japan's birth rate sits at 1.15, South Korea at 0.75 and Taiwan at 0.87 — all among the world's lowest. By comparison, the U.S. sits at 1.62, despite high daycare and travel costs and the lack of comprehensive social support.