NEW YORK — What’s all the frenzy and fury about LeBron James cruisin’ around Akron in his new whip, a Hummer H2 purchased by mom, “To Son, With Love?”
Why are some people so outraged? As long as he owns a valid license, uses seat belts and doesn’t drive recklessly, that’s all that matters to me.
Why shouldn’t LeBron be scoped in something special? Get real; you really don’t think it’s worth a $50,000 investment to make his days? And nights?
Come late June (barring a calamity), when the extraordinary high school senior is selected No. 1 in the draft by the Cavaliers, Nuggets, Grizzlies, Heat, or the Knicks (if David Stern knows what’s good for his league), he’ll be worth about $50 million in endorsements alone and his mother will own a Hummer dealership.
Soft drink companies — notably Coca Cola — Upper Deck Cards, The Jordan Line, the Nike Line, adidas, and countless other star struck conglomerates, as well as hordes of financial planners are passionately vying for his affection, competing for his advertising signature and scouring the earth for a friend of a confidant (father, uncle, aunt, AAU coach will work also) of LeBron’s who can put them in meaningful touch.
What’s compelling our righteous brothers and sisters to pontificate that LeBron and his mom are out of bounds for buying a car decked out with three TVs?
Whose luxury ride doesn’t come equipped with that minor convenience these days, or brought into a shop for distinctive detailing soon after?
Nobody said word one, as I recall, when Chicago Bulls center Tyson Chandler was pushin’ an Escalade around Compton, Calif., as a high school senior?
If LeBron’s mom wants to rent, lease or buy a car, house, or university for her exceptionally gifted/coveted son, I say she’s well within her rights.
What about all the college players over the years who have taken out loans in order to buy insurance in case of permanent disability? That age-old practice never seemed to offend anybody.
Let’s face it; what bank, casino or Michigan alumni in their right mind wouldn’t extend LeBron’s mom as much credit as she wanted?
Unless he does something incurably stupid, or accidentally injures himself beyond repair, LeBron seems like a pretty good risk. But that’s only me.
Selling and socializing aren’t my specialties, still, it seems as if it might prove valuable to establish a business relationship with LeBron pronto . . . maybe even make friends with him . . . you know, gain his confidence and loyalty before anyone else weasels his way to the front of the line and sweet talks his way past the purple satin rope.
I’m only sorry LeBron’s mom didn’t ask me to co-sign. I would have bankrolled him in a skinny second. Who wouldn’t want to ingratiate themselves?
To me, the only thing newsworthy about LeBron’s designer wheels is that he’s the first guy coming out of high school who will have deals with feet covers and seat covers.
This just in: LeBron’s line of credit is suddenly so great he made an offer to buy the Milwaukee Bucks.
Attention all honorable NBA insiders and their unimpeachable surplus of sources:
According to literal league language, “Any player who signs a one-year contract and is eligible to become an ‘Early Bird’ or ‘Full Bird’ free agent at the completion of the deal cannot be traded.”
On the other hand, if a player is in the final season of a multiyear contract he can be moved.
Why is this obligatory info to know?
Because Clippers center Michael Olowokandi’s name is being boldfaced lately in numerous articles purporting his impending swap to the Denver Nuggets for Marcus Camby, to the Philadelphia 76ers for Todd MacCulloch, or to the New York Knicks for (1999 top draft pick) Frederic Weis . . . well, maybe I made that last one up, but you get the idea.
Bottom line is, the self-acclaimed Clipper defector-in-the-making, cannot be relocated, retransmitted, reproduced or rebroadcast even with the express written consent of everybody involved.
Perhaps a refresher course would help.
OK, well, prior to this season, The Kandi Man signed a 1-year qualifying offer for $6 million . . . so it’s against the rules to trade his carcass, dead or alive; most who have seen him play would agree it’s often difficult to distinguish between the two.
When Clippers GM Elgin Baylor addressed the Roach Clips last week, Olowokandi, Lamar Odom and Elton Brand, all exercised their free agent-in-waiting, er, freedom of speech.
In essence, reveals an informant, the three-for-the-road advised Baylor, “Since you and (owner Donald) Sterling aren’t interested in winning and keeping us, we are going to look out for ourselves and the future, not the team.”
Nothing like starting out the New Year with a little solidarity soliloquy to take the heat off lame duck coach Alvin Gentry.
While Camby won’t be exchanged for Olowokandi, there are $17.1 million reasons spread over the next two seasons why he’s unlikely to be a Nugget after the Feb. 20 trade deadline.
Nuggets GM Kiki Vandeweghe already has cleared roughly $26 million in salary cap room this summer and isn’t opposed, I suspect, to creating $8.3 million more for the right deal — in other words, anyone earning within 15 percent (plus $100,000) of Camby’s current $7.3 million salary who’s nearing the end of his contract.
Nets VP Rod Thorn and Grizzlies president Jerry West graciously have offered to lighten Denver’s load. Evidently, neither proposal was tempting enough, but there’s still plenty of time to pique Kiki.
One thing for certain; prospective suitors should keep dreaming up possible trades because Vandeweghe sure isn’t shy about pulling the trigger.
Let’s give a rousing rip job to Lord Byron Scott. After Jersey was turtlewaxed by the Kings in front of a rare full flock last Thursday, the Nets coach took it upon himself to fondle the fan base.
“The 14,000 who show up every night are entitled to boo, but the other 6,000 should just shut up,” is how Scott so delicately phrased it.
Nice talk. As if getting beaten by 36 points wouldn’t be enough to keep the casual clientele away.
Things are so bad for the StuporSonics — losers of five straight, four of them at home, three of them to division cellar dwellers and 16-20 overall, their worst record at this juncture in 17 years — coach Nate McMillan is having George O’Leary re-do his resume.
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