NEW YORK -- And now, for your dining and dancing pleasure, we offer an encore holiday performance of the Portland Penal Colony in "The 12 Visitation Days Of Christmas."
In case you silenced your satellite before the conclusion of last Friday's 113-111 Blazer win in Oakland, the NBA had to call out, er, separate the irrational guards before a riot -- that ignited immediately after Rasheed Wallace's buzzer-beating fade-away decided matters -- could be quelled.
Beguiling Bonzi Wells, who earlier this season mistook Danny Ferry for a spittoon, and Chris Mills detonated the disturbance by pushing and shoving each other at game's end like last-minute Christmas shoppers.