“Standing up to domestic violence” in the March 5 edition was the second such article published in your paper in the past year or so.
I, too, was a victim of domestic violence. Over a seven-year period I was beaten on a routine basis. Black eyes, scratched face, clothing torn, personal belongings destroyed. Not to mention verbal abuse and financial abuse which drove me into severe debt. Most of the abuse was done in front of my three children who (like me) were at a loss as to why. Efforts to get my abuser psychiatric help unfortunately went nowhere.
The difference here is that the perpetrator of all this violence was not a man. It was my wife.
The reason I am writing is that domestic violence by the female partner is hardly if ever discussed or written about. Most men, like myself, are too embarrassed to report the abuse for fear of ridicule. When I did mention some of the abuse to male colleagues there was mostly bemusement. Why? Were I to have lifted a finger to hit my spouse (which I never did) I probably would have been reported to the authorities.
I finally had to leave my wife of 17 years for fear of the constant violence. She now stays with our 3 kids in the house I still owe a mortgage on. I also have to provide child support and pay my own way. She got away with the abuse scot-free and to others she is only seen as a hardworking single mom. Where is the fairness in all of this?
Where are the support groups for men who have been abused? Why isn’t it given coverage by your paper? Please write about the other side of the domestic violence issue. Women commit domestic violence too. And get away with it!
The opinions expressed in this letter to the editor are the writer’s own and do not necessarily reflect the policies of The Japan Times.
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