U.S. President Barack Obama came out in support of same-sex marriage last Wednesday. Yet, only a day earlier, voters in North Carolina had approved a constitutional ban on gay marriage and other domestic-partner arrangements — even though a majority told pollsters that they favored allowing same-sex marriage or domestic partnerships. If that seems confusing, it is. This issue brings together a complicated cluster of conflicting legal, social and moral claims. When thinking about same-sex marriage, and weighing my reasons for supporting it, I find it helpful to remember a few key points that many people get wrong.
1. Letting gay couples get married redefines marriage.
Opponents of same-sex marriage argue that, with few exceptions, marriage has always been about uniting the two sexes and linking mother and father to children. Change that, and marriage ceases to be marriage.