In today's America, a single woman facing a surprise pregnancy is likely to consider just two options: abortion or single motherhood. The third choice, adoption, carries such a social stigma that placement of infants in the United States has plummeted — even as the number of parents desperate for a baby grows.
Birth mothers choose life, and a family, for their child. But this choice is rarely celebrated. Women routinely face family, friends and even health-care providers who think that adoption equals abandonment, according to researchers and conversations with birth mothers. "Just look at the language people use: 'She's giving up her baby,' " says Kathy Kunkel, founder of the Utah-based agency A Act of Love. "In fact, a birth mother is choosing a good home for her baby."
Birth mothers in the U.S. each year number in only the thousands, compared with approximately 1.2 million abortions performed annually, according to Guttmacher Institute estimates, and 1.4 million unexpected unwed births each year. Women bucking the cultural tide generally do not publicize their choice. They are much more willing to admit they have terminated a pregnancy, adoption advocates say, than to say they have placed a live newborn with loving parents.