My handsome butler, resplendent in his smart black waistcoat and bow tie, greets me at the door. "Hello princess," he softly intones as he manfully leads me to a rose-strewn alcove.

Romantic music swells and I sit down and thumb through the menu, feeling more nervous than I hope is apparent. What's it to be? Sipping champagne while adorned with a tiara as this blue-eyed Adonis waits on me hand and foot?

Perhaps we should draw the lacy curtains for privacy and enjoy an intimate tete-a-tete together? Or better yet, I could have my photo taken as he lifts me up in his big strong arms. The options are enough to bring a flush to the cheeks of even this worldly maiden.