This is going to sound crazy, but I have this memory … It’s faded, like so many from the acid-house era, but I can clearly see Arnold Schwarzenegger playing this blue-collar kinda guy who comes home one day and finds his loving and beautiful wife, played by Sharon Stone, suddenly trying to kill him. I’m sure it was real: Who could forget Arnie double-tapping Stone with a burst from his auto-pistol before dropping one of his patented eff-you one-liners: “Consider that a divorce.”

But wait: It’s 2012 and I’m sitting in the cinema watching Len Wiseman’s “Total Recall,” and it’s the exact same scene, only it’s not Arnie but Colin Farrell, and his wife doesn’t look like a deranged aerobics instructor but that Goth chick with the posh accent from “Underworld.” What gives?

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