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The Wicker Man

Director: Neil Labute
Language: English

From start to finish, Nicolas Cage seems to be lost wondering why he is producing and starring in this awful remake of a 1973 cult horror film. Cage is a highway patrolman who goes to a remote island to look for a missing girl and discovers a community ruled by women — all with long hair, all named after plants, all practicing old rituals. Surrounded by these pagans, as Cage’s mind starts to blur, so does the mind of this reviewer. Neither scary nor engaging, the only thing likely to be memorable about this flick is the blank expression on Cage’s face.