Photographic evidence that an alien/human hybrid is among us. Or at least in someone’s kitchen.

For aliens moving or just having moved to the archipelago — with peaceful intentions.

They love to make music in this country, and chances are before you see the teenage rock ‘n’ roll stars and day-glo DJs in Yoyogi Park, they’ve been to Cisco Records to check out the latest in hip. Now Cisco — a chain of stores, each of which caters to a different genre — is online with a helpful, informative, intuitive and growing site.

Under the headline “What is a hate crime?” the writer expresses concern that hate crime legislation denies bigots equal protection under the law. Then there’s the story of the Wisconsin woman arrested for giving condoms to her 13-year-old son because she didn’t want the poor boy coming home diseased. What’s up with that? Well, the publication’s motto is: “We do to legitimate news what pro wrestling does to legitimate sports.”

Jim Morrison, songwriter and lead singer for the Doors, is the only ’60s icon to die from an overdose and live to tell about it. Although the group disbanded after his death in 1971, the Doors have managed to sustain a tide of followers. Now the Internet has given the dead band yet another life, and there’s even some “new” material here to listen to.

Hunter S. Thompson has also undergone a recent Internet incarnation. The good doctor — only months from being named on almost everyone’s list of top American authors of the 20th century — has died and gone to espn.com. It must be hell for him, being lumped in with all those tiny, simple, little minds revolving around a baseball, but the bookie must be paid. Meanwhile, his column is heaven for those who like to keep professional sports in a salt shaker and use them to spice up a Sunday afternoon now and then.

This URL was deleted from a previous column when the mean ole editor rightly pointed out that Spudbrain had no clue as to what Timmy Big Hands is all about. Well, it’s five months later and he still doesn’t, but he’s beginning to think it’s supposed to be that way. The departments here change all the time, and now there’s even a Syrup Ads section. Think spoof. Think Mystery Science Theater 2000 got boring and its creators moved on to The Next Big Thing.

The Internet has been good to George W. Bush; there are so many appreciative sites devoted to him. This one’s done in crayon. “Welcome to my homepage,” a child’s scrawl says. “My first Presidentiary.” Then in type: “Back in Texas we have a word for smarty-
pantses like those folks at Modern Humorist: Smartypants folks.”