"If Donald wins the general election, who the heck knows what he'd do as president?" — Ted Cruz
March 15, 2017 — In the most devastating attack on American soil, a North Korean intercontinental ballistic missile carrying at least two nuclear warheads struck downtown Seattle just after 8 a.m., killing tens of thousands of residents at the height of the morning commute. "There's nothing left ... the city is just gone," a spokesperson for the Federal Emergency Management Agency announced after hours of silence from the nation's capital, which went on lockdown after the explosion. There has been no word from President Trump, who has presumably been taken to a safe location.
"The imperialist forces should now understand that Seattle is but the beginning, and the whole of the United States might turn into a sea of fire due to the foolhardy insults of the American tyrant," Pyongyang announced in a statement released through its official Korean Central News Agency.