The foreign writer — say, an expat Brit in Japan with a reading list longer than his bucket list — is on a journey of self-discovery. Having taken the daring — not reckless or avoidant — step of leaving your home country, you're now in a cubicle-sized apartment in a Tokyo suburb not known for its nightlife. You have a million stories to tell. You do it by following these steps.

Make sure to go for grand psychodrama. Tears stream down your face as you contemplate the consequences of this choice to live abroad: There are no scotch eggs; there are no bacon sandwiches; the beer is watery and tasteless. It might be a good idea to fill your writing with references to home: references to "Little Britain," Oasis lyrics and quotes from "Hamlet."

An alternative approach is to cast off the chains of the Western world. Be sure to mention you don't waste time communicating with other expats in Japan. You no longer go to British pubs, foreigner-friendly izakaya chains (with, ugh, English menus) or Roppongi. You've graduated from that. You've achieved what your readers can only dream of: full-on integration into Japanese society.