Back in February, a friend of mine who had recently divorced ran into her ex-husband. They were together for five years and were, naturally, on ちゃん付け (chanzuke) terms.

ちゃん付け is when you are close enough to a woman that you attach ちゃん (chan) to the end of her name instead of さん (san), which is often translated as “Mr.” or “Mrs.” but is really just an honorific suffix. ちゃん sounds more cute.

Anyway, my friend told me she was a bit surprised when her ex called her by her 名字 (myōji, family name) followed by さん. Taking the cue, she did the same, and the brief encounter began and ended with mutual respect.