My first successful venture in creative writing took place when I was 12. To avoid being picked on by bullies I would provide the school psychopaths with inventive ways to victimize other kids.

My infamous "torture lists" would consist of 20 nasty corporal punishments (ear twist, groin mush, Chinese burn, etc.) and the bully would pounce on an unsuspecting kid, ask him to pick a number between 1 and 20, refer to my list, and dole out the particular brutality.

The bullies loved it. It made bullying far more fun, and by promising and then providing new, more imaginative lists, I avoided getting bullied myself.