I sometimes worry about my continuing failure to devote a column to vagina-kayak creator Megumi Igarashi, the controversial artist currently appealing her May 2016 conviction for the obscene act of distributing data for the topographical coordinates of her naughty parts so that anyone with a 3-D printer can replicate them. Somewhere along the line, she used the data to make a kayak (as one does). It all fits together in a rich tapestry of law interwoven with culture and the absurd double standards applied to genital depictions in Japan.

However, Igarashi has already received plenty of attention, that sort of being the point of her quixotic struggle against the phallocracy. I recall there is some business book that says we should seek to sail in “blue oceans,” free of competition, so in order to avoid the red oceans already crowded with (commentary about) yonic watercraft, I am going to talk about the arguably more important subject of public urination.

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