Do our genitals define us? Increasingly, they do not. Is sexuality more complicated than male/female? Increasingly, it is.
Or maybe not increasingly: Maybe the only thing that's changed over the ages is how much of our true selves society lets us show.
The Bible, keystone arch of Western civilization, had it all figured out. "Male and female created he them," says the Book of Genesis; "he" being God, "them" being us.