The San Francisco Zoo is giving the spurned lovers a chance to adopt a giant scorpion or hissing cockroach and name it after their heart-trampling ex.
"When you think about the detritus of your love life this Valentine's Day, consider adopting a Madagascar hissing cockroach for your ex," the San Francisco Zoo said on the promotion's donation page.
For those suffering the sting of rejection, the zoo recommends the giant hairy scorpion. "Just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pincers and stings the prey," the zoo said.
For those feeling especially wronged, the zoo also gives the option of having a notification sent to the person behind the heartbreak.
Naming rights start at $25, and the spite money goes to a good cause, the zoo said. In both cases, the donations will be used to support research and conservation efforts.
"We can't make any promises, but urban legend says that the gift of a scorpion adoption serves as permanent protection against future romantic stings. Let the healing begin," the donation page said.