Shortly after finishing a column the other day where I focused on Oscar-winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki and the beauty and power of his long single-take shots, I sat down to watch arty suspense flick "Victoria," which was shot entirely in one take. If films like "Birdman" or "The Revenant" display the immersive magic of the long take, "Victoria" is a painful example of how not to do it.

This single-take cinematography won a Silver Bear award for Sturla Brandth Grovlen at the 65th Berlin Film Festival, and it's the main selling point of "Victoria." Witness its embarrassingly high-concept tag line: "One girl. One city. One night. One take." One-star review is more like it.

Many gullible critics were impressed, but beyond the real-time conceit, "Victoria" offers nothing more than a threadbare heist flick. Laia Costa plays Victoria, a Spanish girl recently arrived in Berlin who meets a group of drunken guys while out clubbing, hangs out with them (first hour), and becomes attracted enough to Sonne (Frederick Lau) that she joins them on an armed robbery (second hour).