Article 9: dead at 67 from fever

It is with great sadness that we announce the recent death of Article 9 of Japan’s Constitution. The cause of death was attributed to a long-term struggle against a persistent military fever aggravated by nationalism and the malignant growth of Chinese territorial expansion.

The article, 67 years old, had fought a brave battle to survive numerous attempts on its life since its inception in 1947.

Services will be held in Tokyo with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and former Tokyo Gov. Shintaro Ishihara delivering eulogies. Pallbearers will consist of the Japanese, American and Chinese military officials who are responsible for burying it.

Donations may be sent to the Peace Park in Hiroshima, whose significance has now been sorely affected by the demise of Article 9. Suggestions on a new name for the park would be appreciated. Funeral services will be private, and the Japanese public is not invited. May it rest in peace.

name withheld
tokyo

The opinions expressed in this letter to the editor are the writer’s own and do not necessarily reflect the policies of The Japan Times.