There is no better way to learn the language, adapt to the local customs and steep yourself in the nuances of culture than staying at the home of a welcoming Japanese family. Very often you will also make friends for life ...

That, at least, is the theory, and something I have heard often repeated. But do not believe a word of it — nothing sends shivers of Hunter S. Thompson-esque ripples of fear and loathing through every nerve of my being than the thought of a homestay. All the homestays I have done in my life — three of them — were psychologically traumatic in uniquely torturous ways. In the final one, I seriously worried that I might be murdered. Friends for life? I would sooner check into hell.

Why homestays are so particularly dangerous is because they usually start off brimming with hope and potential — "So delighted to see you, please come into our home." The joy you have getting to know each other puts you off your guard, little preparing you for the horrors that await.