Back in 2005, when I was the United States' lead negotiator at the six-party talks on North Korea's nuclear program, I looked at the instructions I received for my first meeting, a Chinese-hosted banquet that included a North Korean delegation. If there was any toasting (not unheard of at Chinese banquets), I was not to join in. Apparently, I was expected to sit there, without touching my glass, glowering with arms folded until everyone else had placed theirs back on the table. Later, when I visited North Korea for the first time, I was instructed not to smile at my hosts. Apparently, I was expected to offer only angry stares.

U.S. President Donald Trump has obviously modified those instructions. In fact, with his unending praise of Kim Jong Un's leadership, his clumsy, impromptu salute of one of Kim's generals, and his endorsement of all things North Korean (especially the potential for beachfront property development), Trump has all but abandoned any pretense that the U.S. promotes a broader set of values. But while Trump may have overshot the mark, the idea that the U.S. delegation should sit with glasses untouched during a toast also strikes the wrong tone.

In September 1995, during the final month of the Bosnian War, the U.S. delegation to peace negotiations, led by Assistant Secretary of State Richard Holbrooke, arrived in Belgrade for talks with Serbia's dictator, Slobodan Milosevic. According to Milosevic, he could not compel the Bosnian Serbs to withdraw their heavy weapons and lift the bloody four-year siege of Sarajevo. He asked Holbrooke to meet with the Bosnian Serb leaders, Radovan Karadzic and Ratko Mladic, both of whom were later convicted of committing war crimes. Holbrooke asked where they were. "Over there in that villa," Milosevic replied. "Can I call for them?"