LOS ANGELES -- Watch out, the Chinese oil-saboteurs may be coming. Hold on to your derricks! Western newspapers are reporting that the giant China National Offshore Oil Corp. may make a bid to acquire the U.S. oil group Unocal. If the effort is successful (note: the U.S. oil giant Chevron may have a lock on the deal), can Americans look forward to gas prices posted in U.S. dollars and in a presumably devalued yuan?

Will Chinese fast food become available at American gas-stop islands, which generally peddle bad-for-your-health snacks and caloric fruit drinks?

Is yuan-rich China proposing to buy up America as yen-rich Japan was feared to have tried to do long ago? Remember when Tokyo started buying everything in America from famous golf courses to Rockefeller Center?