Name: Richard Magarey (aka Ladybeard)
Age: 5
Nationality: Australian
Occupation: Idol, pro-wrestler, genki presenter
Likes: Cuteness, sweetness, destruction
Dislikes: Nastiness

1. What first brought you to Japan? I toured here in 2011 and performed several live shows. I got a great response, and I really liked Japan, so I decided to move here.

2. What’s keeping you here? (apart from the beard, obviously) It’s the global capital of kawaii (cute). Where else could I be?

3. Name the person in Japan you admire the most? My incredible manager/photographer Naoko Tachibana. She’s an unstoppable one-woman army!

4. If you could share a bottle of wine with any wrestler from history, who would you choose? Mick Foley. I think he would definitely have the most interesting stories and experiences to share. After finishing the wine, he’d probably ask me to break the bottle over his head.

5. Complete this sentence: When you think of Japan, you think … AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

6. What’s your favorite phrase in any language? The Cantonese word for child (siu pung yau) literally means “little friend,” which I think is just lovely.

7. Why Ladybeard? Why Elliott Samuels? I’m a 5-year-old girl with a beard. Can you think of a more appropriate name?

8. Why a Japanese schoolgirl sailor outfit? You have to go to school wearing something …

9. How do you maintain your beard? Meditation. Every day. Being one with the universe to maintain the perfect beard is of utmost importance. The beard is the source of all my power.

10. How do Japanese audiences typically respond to your performances? With incredible energy and enthusiasm. They also shout “kawaii” a lot.

11. Are Cookie Monster vocals facing extinction? I believe said monster underwent a lifestyle reform recently and is now Veggie Monster. As such, the correlating vocals have been here as long as plants have grown on Earth. They will never die and even when the doomsday fires burn all life on this planet, grunts, growls and pig squeals will forever live on.

12. How do you relax on your days off? Sleep, eat delicious food, get some more sleep, eat more delicious food and watch English-language movies.

13. What’s the strangest request you’ve ever been asked in your line of work? During fan service after a recent performance in Taipei, a female fan asked me to head butt her. Obviously not wanting to hurt her or incur a lawsuit, I gave her a gentle scalp to scalping. However, she said it didn’t hurt and insisted I do it properly.

14. How would you get an elephant into a refrigerator? With FORCE!!

15. Name three uses of a stapler without staples. A hilarious and kawaii puppet (that can open and close its mouth); a nose piece on a homemade suit of kawaii armor; items to throw at undesirables and opponents in the ring who disregard the rules of pro-wrestling.

16. What do you think about while standing on a train? Whilst standing on top of a train? I hope no one can see up my skirt from the ground.

17. What’s tougher: wrestling or squeezing into tight women’s clothing? Hands down: women’s clothing.

18. Who would win a fight between a Godzilla and AKB48? AKB48, obviously. Godzilla has no “Lolita” dresses, no school uniforms and no photo books. That’s an easy one!

19. What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m still not sure. I’m only 5 years old so I still have a few years before I have to make a decision.

20. Do you have any words of advice for young people? Do your thing, don’t worry about what everyone else wants you to do. Do what will make you happy. Think carefully about what happiness means to you before you commit to a decision. But once you have decided exactly what you want to do, do it with everything you’ve got!

For details on Ladybeard’s upcoming performances, visit ladybeard.com.

In a time of both misinformation and too much information, quality journalism is more crucial than ever.
By subscribing, you can help us get the story right.