Why is it so difficult to teach children table manners? My kids are quick learners. My oldest only needs to hear a Weird Al song once and he's got the lyrics memorized. His little brother can recite the specs for every fighter plane ever built. So why can't they master the trick of getting their napkins on their laps?
Manner matters are complicated because we're Americans living in Japan. That means my kids have to learn two different etiquettes with very little overlap. Sometimes the rules conflict. For example, my kids know it's OK to slurp some Japanese foods but never Western dishes. The problem is that they don't always know what they're eating. "You mean corn soup is Western?" my younger one said, genuinely baffled, when I scolded him for raising a racket.
Nevertheless, you'd think they could have learned the basics by now. If I had 100 yen for every time I've said, "Elbows off the table," we'd be living in a six-bedroom castle in Denenchofu.