Fancy learning Spanish? We're pleased to suggest four options.

1.) Shell out a fortune for a language school in Japan, so that you can sit in a stuffy room slightly larger than a kennel, with a group of people who are as unlikely to learn Spanish as you are. Then, you can end up deciding that you're too busy and don't really mind that the school won't reimburse your colossal registration fee.

2.) Buy one of those cassette courses everyone goes for and then lose interest after lesson three.