It is Saturday afternoon, and we are in a pleasantly peaceful meeting room in Tokyo's Minami-Aoyama.

Pamela Noda stands before a semicircle of participants and looks intently -- but gently -- into the eyes of each woman. (Usually there is a mix of both sexes.)

Pam begins by being with each person "in relational presence," which means, she says, "that I make my eyes softly available so as to invite connection with each participant." Then she asks us to close our eyes and imagine looking with positive regard into the eyes of someone else for 30 seconds. Click goes her trusty timer. She pairs us up and asks us to look into the eyes of our partner for another 30 seconds. Click. Now one minute . . . click.