WANTED: GOALSCORERS. Please apply to Manchester United, Arsenal or Chelsea.
For the last month the three clubs have been "set to swoop for" . . . "preparing a bid for" . . . or "targeting" Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema and Neymar to mention just three. Away from the goal-men there is United goalkeeper David de Gea whose move to Real Madrid has been "set to happen" for weeks.
Thankfully, the end is nigh. We have only two more days of all this Groundhog Day speculation as the transfer window closes on Monday. The "about to" world exclusives reaching new heights/depths — delete as applicable.