Jose Mourinho mocks Arsene Wenger yet again; the high priest of pragmatic football accused Arsenal of being defensive as it beat Chelsea 1-0 in the Community Shield; the Hypocritical One also tells Señora Benitez she should put Rafa on a diet.

Welcome to the 2015-16 Premier League, which has hit the ground running for madness. In many ways the season does not stop and little changes — it is like David de Gea's proposed transfer to Real Madrid, where the fat man is coach: never ending.

We already know how the next nine months will unfold. Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United will dominate the race for the title. Liverpool and Tottenham will again be also-rans for Champions League places. Newcastle will under-achieve with owner Mike Ashley becoming even less popular — seemingly impossible, but which he somehow still manages to do. And 10 clubs will be delighted just to avoid relegation from the most lucrative league in the world.