Five years ago, my Japanese husband and I adopted a 3-year-old boy who had been placed in an orphanage when he was a month old. His birth mother, too young to care for him, had likely decided that giving him up was his only chance for a better life. After we first took him home, he would barely acknowledge our existence, and only in the last few months has he started to hold my hand of his own volition.

I'm lucky. One adoptive mom I spoke to told me that her 25-year-old son will only now let her pat him on the shoulder.

Although adoption is common in my country of origin, Canada, before we went through the process ourselves in Japan, I didn't even know it was possible here and had never considered it to be an option. Many adoptive parents I've spoken with said the same. It seems like a very well-kept secret.