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Scott Brimmer: ‘I love to do the glam rock karaoke’

by Elliott Samuels

Name: Scott Brimmer
Age: 38
Nationality: American (sometimes Canadian when the U.S. is an international embarrassment)
Occupation: Owner and brewmaster of Brimmer Brewing
Likes: Beer
Dislikes: The use of the word twerking

1. What first brought you to Japan? It was time to be close to and help the in-laws.

2. What’s keeping you here? An electric shock collar.

3. Who in Japan do you most admire? Sounds cheesy, but my wife. She has to take care of me, our son, her family and is a cornerstone of our company.

4. Where do you go to escape Tokyo? Gotemba in Shizuoka Prefecture. We lived out there for five years and love the countryside near Mount Fuji.

5. What’s your favorite Japanese word or phrase? Anyone that knows me would tell you daijōbu. Everything is always OK, fine, no problem.

6. What’s your favorite phrase in any language? “Beer please,” because it is the most useful phrase for me in any country.

7. If you could drink beer with any three people in history, who would you choose? Josef Stalin, because he needs to relax a bit and learn how to socialize. Chris Farley, because he would be fun to hang out with after a few. And Andre “the Giant” in case Stalin and Farley start acting up.

8. Describe your most embarrassing moment. I was told the squat toilets in Japan were foot washing rooms I had to use before using the toilet. But I was able to see through that after a couple times.

9. If you had to live by yourself on a deserted Okinawan island for a year, what three items would you make sure you packed in your suitcase? I would bring a fishing rod for food, a zippo for fire and a volleyball for companionship.

10. If you were a beer, what kind of beer would you be? I would be an amber ale: not too sweet, not too bitter, well-balanced and easygoing.

11. What do you think about while standing in the train? I’ll usually relax with some of my favorite music and ponder if it’s OK to open up the beer in my backpack.

12. What superhero would you most like to be? Aquaman. There aren’t many supervillains in the ocean. Just spend my days skiing on the backs of dolphins.

13. Tell us a quick bar joke. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”

14. What’s your karaoke song of choice? It would have to be “Eye of the Tiger” — I love to do the glam rock karaoke.

15. Name three uses of a stapler without staples. Crocodile shadow puppet; a pair of staplers that could be used as castanets; pasta crimper.

16. How would you find a needle in a haystack? Put the stack in a pool of water. The haystack will float while the needle will sink to the bottom.

17. Who would win a fight between a lion and tiger? Doesn’t matter who wins, we all love a good cat fight.

18. If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be? Lost and found.

19. What do you want to be when you grow up? Retired.

20. Do you have any words of advice for young people? A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.